Comes with being a Hammond, right?
by Storybored
Summary: They only love us when they're not hating us
1. Chapter 1

Elaine sat down next to Margaret who was watching TJ's chest rise and fall while he was unconscious in the hospital.

"How you holding up mom?" Elaine asked facing her mother.

"I'm fine. I should be asking you." Margaret said as she knew Elaine found TJ unconscious in the car.

"I just can't believe it why would he do something like this?"

"Who knows but it doesn't take a genius to realize that he has been unhappy the past few days."

"Hmmm."

"It wasn't that hard to see."

"So why didn't you tell anyone."

"I shouldn't have had too, Elaine." Margaret thought of how many times TJ would talk and how his voice was brittle or how he always was high or drunk and if he was sober it was because he was coming down from the high.

"You don't need to rub it in I know I failed as a mother." Elaine said sadly.

"You haven't failed." Margaret said gently touching Elaine's shoulder.

"Well it sure feels like it." Elaine replied flatly.

"No one ever said motherhood was easy."

"I know that."

"Have you had anything to eat yet?" Margaret asked knowing that Elaine hadn't eaten since lunch a little over 14 hours ago.

"No."

"Go get something to eat."

"Not hungry."

"You won't be any good to TJ if you starve yourself. Go get something to eat I'll stay here with him."

"When did you get so bossy?"

"I'm your mother it's my job. Go. Eat."

"I'm going." Elaine replied getting up and walking out the door. Margaret was alone with TJ for roughly fifteen minutes before TJ groaned and flinched away from the light, and to be honest TJ felt like he had the flu and he felt heartbroken. The pain he felt at the moment was sickening. To be honest TJ felt like the pain was killing him.

"Hey you're awake. Here open your eyes now." Margaret said dimming the lights.

"Where am I?" TJ asked quietly to not make his headache any worse than it was.

"In the hospital." Margaret said matching his pitch. TJ dropped his head into the pillows and thought ' _Great you're such a big fuck up you couldn't even kill yourself. Good going._ '

"Do you need something?" Margret asked noting TJ's distress.

"No."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"  
"Yes Nana." TJ wasn't okay and he didn't think he ever would be but he would lie to keep his grandmother happy. He could at least do that much.

"Well that's good." Margaret said smiling TJ returned a forced smile as he felt a churning in his stomach and blanched, "TJ is something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing." TJ smiled at his grandmother but she didn't looked convinced.

"Stop lying your mother isn't here."

"I'm just tired."

"MH." TJ closed his eyes to stop himself from crying ' _What did you expect she's mad at you you're still the fuck up, the black sheep._ '

"Hey if it makes you feel any better I'm not mad. I don't know about your mother though." TJ didn't trust himself to speak so he just nodded.

"Just rest sweetie. I'll deal with her." Margaret whispered stroking TJ's hair as he started to lose consciousness.

"Am I interrupting something?" Elaine said curiously walked in.

"Hey mama." TJ said looking and feeling and looking lethargic.

'How are you feeling?"

"Okay." TJ replied sort of out of it.

"Good." Elaine said.

"Where's Doug?" TJ asked looking around and not seeing his brother.

"Why?" Elaine asked quietly to know one in particular.

"Why what?" TJ asked knowing what she was asking about.

"Nothing just wondering out loud." TJ was looking around quietly.

"What?"

"Nothing'."

"Alright." Elaine said before walking to her mother. TJ rolled over so he was facing anyone and pulled in on himself, "Mom can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure." Margaret said as they got up and walked out of the hospital room.

"Did TJ tell you anything?"

"No."

"Did you ask?"

"Ask what exactly?"

"I didn't ask he was pretty out of it. Do you know why he did it?" Margaret asked watching TJ shake.

"Mhh."

"Any ideas who?"

"What?" Elaine said taken aback.

"Who pushed him off the edge?"

"Why do you think it was someone who did it?"

"Things have pushed him off the edge before, such as your running for president but this is the first time he's done something like this." Margaret said softly.

"Fine, ill confess he's been seeing this senator named Sean." Elaine said remembering the fight she and TJ had.

' _I'm in love with him, Mom. I never thought that this was gonna happen to me. I feel like a different person when we're together, and I haven't been high in six months. Not even an aspirin."_

' _You are tying your sobriety to this asshole you are in so much trouble.'_

' _You are the most important women in the world and you can't help me?!"_

' _I am trying to help you that is what I'm doing you just can't see it.'_

Margaret broke her train of thought by speaking, "Sean… Sean Reeves?"

"Yeah he's married and was having an affair with TJ and somehow convinced him that he was going to leave his wife and look how that turned out."

"That explains why TJ looks so heartbroken." Elaine and Margaret stood in silence for a bit when Doug walked up to them.

"Hey Doug." Margaret said to her grandson.

"Hey nana how's TJ?"

"Okay." Margaret said knowing Doug blamed himself.

"Do we know what happened?"

"He tried to kill himself, Dougie."

"I know that, I mean what made him snap?"

"I'm not sure exactly." Margaret said knowing TJ wanted to tell him, "Do you want to talk to him?"

"Is he awake?"

"Yes but he still may be a little out of it." Doug walked over to see his brother curled in on himself slightly and facing the wall.

"Hey TJ."

"Hey Dougie." TJ said stretching out and rolling over to look at his brother.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit."  
"Wonderful. TJ what the hell were you thinking!?" Doug snapped at his older brother.

TJ flinched and was quiet for a moment "I don't know. Are you mad?"

"No I was more worried than anything."

"I'm sorry."

"God Damnit TJ, you can't do stuff like this do you know how you made everyone feel?" Doug snapped at TJ.

"How do you think I felt?!" TJ yelled it hurt to talk that loudly.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Doug, you didn't know."

"No I…" Doug sighed.

"What's wrong Dougie?"

"I'm just… I don't know."

"What?"

"I just don't know what to do, what to think."

"Think of how big a fuck up your big brother is."

"Well I feel like I fucked up too."

"Because I should have noticed something wrong."

"I'm good at hiding things, it's not your fault."

"But you shouldn't have to hide things from me."

"I hide things from everyone."

"But I'm your brother you should be able to talk to me."

"I should but I can't."

"Is there a specific reason you can't talk to me?"

"I feel like I disappoint everyone."

"Side effect of being a president's kid, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."TJ knew that wasn't the reason every time he'd try to speak he'd get tossed away unless he did something bad, and then it was why would you do this TJ why.

"Mhm."

"I'm sorry. For everything."  
"Why are you sorry? I should have been there or done something."

"You didn't know Dougie it's my fault." Doug looked miserable after TJ whispered that.

"Please don't look like that Dougie please." Tj begged his brother.

"I look miserable because I am miserable." Doug cut off his brother before he could speak, "It's not your fault other things were going on to."

Taj looked at his brother disparagingly" What things?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow you're exhausted."

"I'm not exhausted." TJ quickly replied while his subconscious was calling him on another lie.

"Fine, besides you? Work."

"I'm sorry I didn't want to cause you guy's pain. I am so… so sorry."

"Don't worry we're Hammonds we'll survive." TJ turned away from Doug,"Hey do you want me to leave? I'll come back tomorrow."

"No I'm just mentally exhausted. Dougie you got to believe me I didn't mean to cause any pain." Tj rolled back over and he didn't have that mask of painted emotions on he looked tired, heartbroken and apologetic.

"I know."

"No you don't. The person I love most in the world, hell the whole universe, left me. You have no idea how I feel."

"I know that but-"

"He left me, Doug, You don't know a DAMN thing." TJ hated talking to his brother like this but it got his point across, "I'm tired do you mind sending Mama and Nana in?"

"Sure I'll go get them."  
"Hey TJ." Elaine whispered walking in behind Doug.

"Hey Mama." TJ rasped, "Why don't you guys go home?"

"Are you sure?" Margaret asked.

"Yes I'll be fine for a few hours. Go home. Get some sleep."

"Call us if you need anything."

"Okay."

"Alright see you tomorrow."

TJ waited until they were out of earshot before he let the mask drop he felt dead inside that was the best way to describe it, like when he would come down from the highs but worse. He reflected during that time he remembers crying over Sean and as he inhaled more of the gas when he was on the verge of passing out he remembers how at peace he felt. Then he bitterly remembered all of the reasons he did it Sean, him becoming his father, and once again disappointing his family. He started crying, he stopped a little` later and if it was even possible TJ felt even worse.


	2. Chapter 2

To be honest for TJ the next few days were a blur, what he remembers most clearly is being checked out of the hospital and Doug talking to him.

"So you'll stay at Mama's for a couple of weeks before going to rehab." The word _again_ hung unspoken between the two of them, "We will sit you up in Mama's guest room and someone will be home all day to make sure you aren't alone."

TJ was ignoring his brother and looked out the car window.

"Also Mama's getting you set up with one of the best psychiatrists in the country."

TJ turned around and looked at his brother horrified," A shrink, why?"

"You need the help TJ."

"I don't need help, I'm fine."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't!" TJ snapped at his brother.

"You're going on TJ. No matter what."

"Of course, I'm going." TJ replied sarcastically.

"Why do you say it like that?"

"Why the fuck do you think?" TJ growled dryly.

"You are impossible, TJ." Doug sighed as TJ avoided his gaze,"Hey are you okay?"

"No."

"How can I change it? Can I help?"

"Yeah you can cancel the appointment with the shrink."

"You know I can't do that."

Tj leaned back into his seat," Why am I going to the shrink?"

"Because you need help."

"No I don't!" TJ snapped and set his jaw.

"Well Mom thinks you do so you're going."

"Of course she does." TJ muttered darkly.

"TJ it's for your own good." Tj looked away from his brother, _'My own good? She should have let me die.'_ "Hey it won't be that bad, I met her she's nice."

Tj rolled his eyes at his brother.

"Don't give me that."

TJ looked at his brother and flashed his brother a forced smile.

"See that's better." Tj was silent the rest of the drive and looked ahead,"Hey were home."

"Hi Mama." TJ said as his mother hugged him.

"Hey TJ." TJ pulled away and sat down on the couch, "Did Doug tell you about the psychiatrist."

"Sadly."

"Why, is that a problem?"

"I don't need a shrink."

"Do you really believe that?"

"I wouldn't be saying that if didn't believe it."

"Tj this is why you need to go to a shrink."

TJ was silent for a moment before standing up, "I'm going to spend the rest of the night in my room."

 _ **(My head hurts so much as I type this line break)**_

The next day Tj was forced up at the crack of dawn and forced out of his warm bed to this damn shrink. He sat across from the shrink who had brown hair and looked tried to look casual but it was sort of hard to do considering all the tension in the room **(Stephanie Pierson is face casted by Michaela Colin from Bones she plays Angela Montenegro)**

"Hello TJ I'm Stephanie Pierson." TJ stared at her loftily, "Now I'm sure you have some misconceptions about psychiatrists, but I'm here to help you. Why don't you sit down?"

TJ sat down stiffly across from her.

"Let's start with how your feeling?"

"Bored. Betrayed." TJ growled slightly.

"Why do you feel betrayed?"

"Because I don't want to be here."  
"Why don't you want to be here? Don't you believe you need help?"

"I don't need help, I'm fine."

"What do you think about your suicide attempt?" Stephanie knew that if she pushed too hard TJ would lash out so she needed to establish a line for them.

"I don't see how that's important to you." TJ growled.

"No need to be hostile."

"That wasn't hostile." TJ drawled.

"Alright let's move on. Do you have any questions for me?"  
"Yeah when do I go home?"

"Why do you want to go home?"  
"I just don't want to be here I'd rather be alone."

"Why do you want to be alone? Is it you feel out of place in your family or another reason?"  
"I'm a gay drug addict in the president's family. How more out of place could I be?"

"So you don't feel comfortable in your family?"

Tj rolled his eyes, "What was your first clue, Doc?"

"So you feel like an outcast? Have you ever tried to fix that?"

"Being the perfect son would probably fix it."

"Do you feel like you brother is better liked than you?"

"Oh I know it."

"Are you jealous of your brother?"

"Jealous why would I be jealous of someone who always gets attention were I have to get it by lashing out." TJ said sinking into the chair.

"Do you wish to change it?"

"A Little, I got used to being ignored."

"Do you wish you could change that?"

"After a while you get used to it. Sure you're starving for attention but you just accept it as your lot in life."

"And you've accepted that?" Stephanie found that hard to believe.

"I've accepted it doesn't mean I'm thrilled with it.

"And what of your relationship status?" TJ flinched and closed in on himself, _'Good job Stephanie all the progress we made just went to shit.'_ "Do you feel uncomfortable with this subject?"

TJ nodded slightly.

"Alright I believe our session is almost over. I let you go early and we will continue our conversation Thursday."

 _ **(Line break)**_

"TJ, how was your session?" Elaine asked as TJ walked into the house.  
"Fine. So I'm going again in two days?"

"Is something bothering you?"

"No."

"TJ you need to start trusting us."

"I don't need to see a shrink, okay?"

"Yes you do."

"No. I. Don't." TJ looked at his mother bitterly, "I'm going up to me room or do you have a problem with that too?"  
"TJ." Elaine said desperately.

Tj was roughly half up the stairs when he turned around and growled angrily," What?!"

"Nothing." Elaine said.

Tj turned around and continued walking up the stairs to his room before opening the door and sitting down on the bed. He was shaky and sweaty, so he pulled off his shirt. He easily recognized the symptoms of withdrawal but he couldn't go out till later since he wasn't able to get his stash.

"Hey TJ how you feeling?" Margaret asked as she walked in.

"Horribly."

"I can see that."

"Then why did you ask."

"It's a stupid ethical thing the shrink wants us to do." TJ stretched out on the bed moving over for his grandmother, "Do you need anything?"

"A canceled session with the shrink."

"That's not within my power, sweetie, and nice try." TJ smiled at her softly. He dropped his head back onto the headboard.

"I know, but can you blame a man for trying."  
Margaret shook her head at him, "Was she that bad?"

"No I just don't want to be reminded about how big a screw up I am."

"It's not you sweetie, it's the family."

"No it's just me. You, Mama, and Dougie never screw up.

"Doug has screwed up. He just hides it."

"You're just humoring me."

"What you don't think your brother has never screwed up?"

"He's the golden boy, Mom and Dad's favorite. Probably yours too." TJ mumbled.

"He's not my favorite." Margaret said trying to get TJ's attention.

"Why isn't he? He's the perfect son and I'm just a screw up." TJ looked miserable after he said this.

"Yep."

"Doug is the favorite of your parents, but that is why you're my favorite. Besides who else would I play piano with?"

"I don't know. I just feel like I disappoint everyone."

"All kids feel like that sometimes."

"Not all the time."  
"Yeah, but you're special."

"I wouldn't call it special."

"Well then what the hell would you call it?"

"Not special that's for sure." TJ sighed," I'm going to go get some sleep, could you wake me up in time for dinner?"

"Alright, get some sleep TJ."

TJ slept for five or six years before Margaret came back upstairs and woke him up.

"Dinner time TJ."

"MHz" TJ grunted sitting up and rubbed his eyes,"I'm up."

"Doug's here, by the way." Margaret walked down the stairs with TJ stumbling behind her," Hey Dougie."

"Hey Dougie." TJ muttered.

"Hey Nana, TJ." TJ sat down at the table a little farther from everyone else and just stared ahead, "So TJ how was your trip to the psychiatrist?"

"I don't want to talk about it." TJ mumbled not looking at Doug.

"I have a hard time believing that it was that bad."

"Just because I don't want to talk about something doesn't mean it was bad Doug."

"You know what you need? You need a hobby."

"I have a hobby it just isn't conventional." Doug raised an eyebrow and TJ mimicked the expression.

"You need a productive hobby."

"My hobby is productive. It gets your blood pumping and your heart rate up."

"Just think about it."

"Not going to happen." TJ's joking demeanor was quickly diminishing and was being replaced with how he was feeling currently.

Doug sighed, "You are being ridiculous."

TJ rolled his eyes and started eating, and after a few bites pushed his plate away, "May I be excused?"

"TJ are you okay?" Elaine asked as TJ got up and cleaned his plate.

"I'm just not hungry." TJ ignored the churning in his gut.

TJ finished cleaning his dish and walked up the stairs to his room and he barely made it to the bathroom before he threw up the contents of his stomach. Margaret watched him to walk up the stairs and heard his door shut.

"Really Doug, a hobby?"

"Yes I would think it be good for him. It would give him something to do."

"I don't think he's like this because he's bored."

"No I don't think that it, I think it would be good for him to be productive."  
"Productivity isn't going to make him happy. Try and bring it up in a different way." Doug was about to protest, "He probably felt attacked, try to bring it up gently. You did bring it up gently but he isn't in a best place at the moment, and he probably felt betrayed because he was forced to go to a shrink."  
"The shrink was Mom's idea." Doug grumbled as he thought he was blamed.

"I know but you told him but you probably sprang it on him. TJ isn't the most stable person."  
"I'm going to do the dishes and then do some work." Elaine got up and left.

"I know he isn't stable that's why he's going to see the psychiatrist."

"He knows this, he doesn't need to be reminded."  
"Nana, I'm trying to help him."

"I know, dear."

"Then why do you criticize me?"

"I'm not trying to, I'm just telling you how to handle him."

"I think I can handle my brother."

"He isn't wired the same way we are." Doug nodded his understanding, "We should be getting to bed. You should head home to Anne."  
"Yeah I guess you're right. Night Nana."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Political Animals**_

TJ was asleep and it was the best night of sleep he got in a long time. No dreams of Sean that could bring up any unpleasant memories. And it had nothing to do with the fact that two hours ago he went to sleep higher than a kite. He was woken up by Anne knocking on the door.

"Hey TJ you awake ?" Anne asked through the door.

"Yeah. Its open." TJ groaned rolling over and looking at the door groggily.

"How are you feeling?" Anne asked opening the door and sitting on the bed.

"Fine." TJ replied sitting up.

"Do you want to go shopping with me? Doug had to work so your mom recommended you."

"Hmmm, yeah just let me get dressed I'll be down in twenty minutes."

TJ slid on a pair of jeans and a grey shirt before pouring another bump and snorting it and grabbing his jacket feeling the high enter his system he shook his head to help him wake up.

"Ready to go?" Anne said smiling.

TJ nodded and followed Anne to the car.

 _ **(I've been really busy. I am so sorry)**_

They drove in relative silence with only Anne's radio playing in silence,"Okay first, I need to pick up a dress for your mom's dinner party." Anne said tugging TJ around the mall,"You know you're a lot easier to shop with than Doug."

"Keep thinking that, I'll probably get worse as time goes on."

"Doug's bad when we get here."

"Now you know why I go shopping alone" TJ thought bitterly,' _No one to tell you how to dress or how to act,_ "Let's go get your dress. Try blue."

TJ grimaced as Anne pulled him to the dress section.

"Are you going?"

TJ was thinking about Sean, his blue eyes and the way he smiled when he heard TJ play or the way he made TJ feel, he snapped out of his revelry when he heard Anne speak,"I'm sorry what?"

"To the dinner party, are you going?" Anne asked looking through the dresses.

"Yeah." TJ bit his lip and frowned slightly relieved that Anne wasn't paying attention.

"You will need something to wear." Anne muttered loud enough for TJ to hear while looking at a light blue satin dress.

"I just have to look halfway presentable." TJ growled irritatedly pulling out a darker blue dress and showing it to Anne putting it back after she shook his head.

"No you need something. I'm thinking a vest." TJ sighed at Anne before flicking through the dresses.

"I guess." TJ said looking the dresses with Anne.

"What do you think of this?" Anne held up a knee length dark blue dress with an a dark opaque covering the v-neck.

"Its pretty. You'd look good in it." TJ felt empty which was a common feeling since Sean ended things and dropped his head on his forearm and groaned.

"TJ are you okay?"

"Never better." TJ said forcing a charming smile onto his face which he dropped as soon as Anne looked away.

"I'm almost done here maybe we could get lunch afterward."

"Sure that's fine." TJ said smiling hoping to get out of buying a vest.

"We still have to buy your vest." Anne cut of TJ's protests,"It will be better than buying a dress and faster too."

TJ groaned and followed Anne to the men's aisle.

"I was thinking grey. What do you think?

"That's fine Anne." TJ followed Anne as she picked out a dark grey vest and pulled him to the cash register and paid.

"What do you want for lunch?" Anne asked still tugging TJ along.

"I don't care. I'm not hungry."

"If you're not hungry we could skip lunch I already ate."

"Only if you want to." TJ mumbled dismissively and tossed an arm around her,"So what's next?"

"Home, these shoes are killing me." Anne gestured down to the heels that put her at eye level with TJ.

"If they hurt you why do you wear them?" TJ already knew the answer but asked the question anyways.

"It's the price we pay for beauty TJ."

TJ rolled his eyes and as Anne noticed the stares following her and TJ,"What's that all about?"

TJ looked around and caught a few stares making them flick their gaze anywhere but the two of them,"We're a Hammond and a future Hammond. Im also gay and have a beautiful woman on my arm. Why do you think they're staring?"

One of the gazes lingered and sent TJ a flirty look that he caught and sent a suggestive head incline back as Anne pulled him away he shot the boy a look that said sorry.

"What was that about?"

TJ shrugged as Anne shook her head,"Boredom. "

"Come on your family would kill me if anything happened to you."

TJ brow creased but he followed Anne to the car and put the bag in the back seat as Anne started the car.

Anne glanced at him as TJ slid in the passenger seat,"TJ I have a question for you. Do you approve of me and Douglas?"

"Of course why wouldn't I? Did my mom say something or?" TJ trailed off. Anne was one of the two girlfriends he actually liked.

"No, I guess I just worry about being accepted."

"Trust me Doug is lucky to have you." TJ said shooting Anne a reassuring grin.

"Thank you, and don't worry you'll find someone too." Anne returned his smile before focusing on the road.

TJ frowned and sucked in a breathe,"I don't think thats gonna happen."

"Oh sure it will."

"What makes you say that?" TJ asked with a few barely there hints of self-loathing. Anyhow TJ didn't want a relationship without Sean, he felt empty hollow feeling without the ability to even talk to Sean

"i don't know," TJ rested his head on the window as Anne glanced at him her brown eyes softening, "What makes you think it won't?"

"When have I ever been that lucky?" The voice in his head venomously whispered,' _You were but he hates you, he can't stand you, you disgust him.'_

"Well maybe it will change." Anne said with a hint of hopefulness creeping into her voice.

"I doubt it." TJ replied,' _Especially because you're still in love with him, you pathetic slut._ _ **(I might be laying on the self hatred on a little thick but artistic liberties ya know?)**_

"Well just because you doubt it, that doesn't mean it won't happen."

TJ swallowed and looked at Anne,"Most of the people who I've slept with have wanted to sleep with me since I was a teenager and it's never been able to go pass that."

Anne shot TJ a sympathetic look.

"Dont Im used to it, it comes with Doug being the favorite. "

"Doug's the favorite?" Anne asked with disbelief.

"Yep, you haven't heard how many times I've gotten the,'Oh TJ why did you do this, Oh TJ you'll ruin this family's reputation , Why can't you be more like Douglas he doesn't make mistakes. Oh TJ you and your dalliances have embarrassed us."

Anne raised an eyebrow, "Wow."

"Welcome to my life Anne." TJ started to bounce his leg to keep himself distracted and draw his mind off the poisonous thoughts that were spiraling around his head.

The leg bouncing caught Anna's attention,"Whats with all the nerves today?"

"Just trying to keep my mind off everything," TJ tried to shoot Anne a reassuring smile but ended up looking like it was causing him pain.

"Hey don't worry it will turn out okay."

"I wish I could believe that."

"We're here,' TJ was about to get out of the car when Anne grabbed his forearm," Hey do you wanna watch a movie together?"

"Sure," TJ didn't have the heart to tell her he wanted to be alone and scare her when she was trying so hard, so he squashed most negative feelings and pretended to be happy for Anne for the rest of the day.


	4. Chapter 4

_**This was written two days after the Pulse shooting in Orlando. I'm still shaking. I'm furious. People ask me why I'm not pro gun because shit like this happens my uncle bought a gun in parts off amazon thankfully he fucked up putting it together so it didn't fire but I don't think it's registered at least when you buy it from Walmart it gets registered I think.**_

"Welcome back TJ." Dr. Pierson said greeting him cheerfully and brushing a few loose strands of hair out of her face.

TJ glowered at her, he wasn't really in the mood to deal with her today. He started his day off with his mother getting on his case for wanting to be alone for a bit, she got upset with him and forced him to come here even though he felt headachy and hungover for some reason. So he was pissed to say the very least.

"How are you feeling TJ?"

TJ picked at the strings on one of the holes in his pants,"Horrible."

"And what's so bad about today?"

"Just one of those days I guess." TJ said shrugging slightly knowing it wasn't fair to take his bad moods out on her.

Dr. Pierson leaned forward slightly, unconsciously,"Is it that you don't like coming here?"

TJ looked at her knowing she was trying his best and that he was being TJ the asshole, the bad guy, to her and she didn't deserve that, he shook his head,"Everything I've done for myself has blown back in my face, no matter what I've done."

nervously played with the jade dragon pendant, TJ's always seen her wear it in the few sessions they had, no matter how much it clashed with her outfits,"Why do you think that is?"

TJ dropped his head into his hands,"I don't know. I guess I have shitty luck."

Dr. Pierson tilted her head,"Do you think it's anyone's fault?"

"Why do you think it's your fault?"

"Everything is." TJ frowned at how much he believed was his fault,"I'm sure the shitstorm of my life could have been prevented if I was a better son."

"Do you feel like you were a bad son?" Dr. Pierson said fiddling with a pen instead of her necklace.

"I've assumed. The only person who doesn't give me negative attention is my grandmother, even when she's disappointed with me."

"Is your grandmother your favorite person?"

TJ nodded,"We bonded over my ability to play the piano, while my parents only had their disappointment with me to talk about."

Dr. Pierson looked apprehensive ,"Why do you think your parents are disappointed in you?"

TJ shrugged and looked at his feet,"Who wouldn't be?"

"Are you?"

"Disappointed with myself? You could say that."

"And why is that?" Stephanie said genuinely curious.

"I'm a Hammond people only love me when they're not busy hating me."

"Does that affect your decisions?"

TJ shrugged again,"I don't know."

"Okay." Dr. Pierson looked hesitant and spoke gently,"What about your relationship status?"

"I don't want to talk about it." TJ wasn't ready to talk about Sean. He wasn't ready to face his feelings about him.

"Do you want a relationship?"

"No." TJ's voice was brittle and hoarse.

"Did you used to have one?" TJ nodded not trusting himself to speak.

"And does it make you reluctant to have another?"

TJ looked conflicted, his voice was quiet,"Yeah, I don't know what to do about it."

Dr. Pierson chewed on her lip before speaking,"Well, what are your options?"

"I don't know."

"Was the reason your relationship ended your fault?"

TJ knew it wasn't his fault but he'd rather blame himself than blame Sean. It wasn't Sean's fault no matter how angry he got,"Yeah it is."

"You were the one who ended the relationship?" Dr. Pierson was confused because he was so distraught.

"No he did, but it was my fault." TJ didn't meet Dr. Pierson's eyes and his cheeks flushed.

"Why did he break up with you?"

"My family got to be too much for him."

"If that's what happened how is it your fault?"

"It's because I was the one who got involved with him."

"Are you better off without him?"

"No, I'm worse off. I'm damaged goods now, I was really better off before, six months clean with him. Longest I've been clean since I was a kid. I was happy with him."

"But he left you?"

"Just because I was happy doesn't mean he was."

"And how do you know that?"

"If he was happy he wouldn't have left me."

"How did that make you feel?"

TJ sighed,"Terrible."

"Do you regret being with him?"

"Yes and no."

"Oh?"

"I don't regret being happy but I regret letting my family get to him."

"So you wish you never met him?"

"No, I was really happy with him. He made me happy and he helped me get clean."

Dr. Pierson raised an eyebrow,"So you don't think it would have been easier if you hadn't met him?"

"No, I try to get clean and my parents push and push and I end up breaking under pressure and falling of the wagon." TJ ran a hand through his hair causing it to curl upward.

"Why do you think that is?"

TJ sighed,"I'm the screw up."

"Do you really believe that? Why do you think your a screw up? Does it have something to do with your parents?"

"Yeah. I'm screwed up because I can't do anything right. It probably has something to do with them."

"Do you blame them?"

"I don't know. I mean I wouldn't be in the position if it wasn't for them. But it's my fault because I let the pressure of everything get to me." TJ picked at a string on his grey henley.

Dr. Pierson looked at the clock,"We'll continue this on Friday."

TJ nodded and stood up,"Alright. Friday."

Tj left the doctor's office before climbing into the back off his mom's car nodding a greeting to Agent Clark.

Elaine looked up from a file in her hands,"TJ how was therapy?"

"Fine?"

"I'm glad, is she nice?"

"She's okay."

"Is it helping?"

"I don't know. I don't like getting reminded of things I already know."

Elaine looked up at him,"So it's boring?"

"It just makes me feel worse." TJ clenched his hand on his knee.

"Do you talk about Sean?"

TJ made a choked noise,"I don't want to talk about it."

Elaine looked upset,"I'm sorry."

TJ forced a smile,"It's fine."

Elaine shook her head,"No it's not."

"It's fine." TJ kept the smile on his face but looked away with tears in his eyes.

"I don't know how to help you TJ." Elaine looked determined.

"You don't have to." TJ said before thinking,' _You're always busy with something government related.'_

"Yes I do."

"It's all my fault, Mama. You don't have to help me." TJ's voice was soft and brittle.

Elaine looked at TJ who was staring out the window not making eye contact with anyone,"This is my fault too."

TJ's eyes flickered from the window to his mother,"How so?"

"I failed as a mother."

TJ looked up and was upset,"Ma-Mama….How long till rehab?"

"I don't know." TJ rubbed his eyes,"TJ, have you been having trouble sleeping?"

TJ had a tired look on his face,"Yeah a bit."

"Is there a reason?"

TJ knew it was because of Sean he felt empty and cold but he didn't want to worry his mother,"No, not really?"

"Are you sure?"

TJ smiled,"Yeah, I'm fine."

Elaine looked skeptical,"Okay

TJ wondered if he'd gotten that good at lying or if they just stopped caring.

"Though I will talk to your psychiatrist to see how you are doing."

TJ raised an eyebrow,"Doesn't that violate some type of Doctor-patient confidentiality."

"I'm not asking about anything in particular, just how you are doing."

TJ worried about what she was going to be told.

"TJ you look worried."

"It's nothing."

"No it's not."

"No, Mama. It's fine, it's nothing."

"TJ," Elaine sighed before continuing,"I wish you would let us in in more. You need to stop pushing us away."

' _It's kinda hard not to.'_ TJ thought bitterly.

"We want to help you."

"I don't need help." TJ growled.

Elaine looked at him with a politician's gaze something that irritated TJ further,"Yes you do."

TJ took a shuddering breath,"I don't. I know I'm a failure. I don't need to be reminded of it everyday."

Elaine's gaze softened slightly,"You're not a failure. You made a mistake, you're going to fix it. You're going to the therapist and than we'll see."

TJ leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes trying to catch up on sleep without trying to catch up on sleep without trying to think or dream about HIM…. they weren't happy memories, they were memories of Sean yelling at him, calling him a joke, disgusting, repulsive…. A pathetic American punchline. Elaine glanced at her son a frown on his face and his body language.

"TJ?" Elaine asked.

TJ cracked one eye open looking at his mother,"Yeah?"

"You're going to see Douglas before the party tonight. He's at the house I have a bit of work to do before the party. I'm going to drop you off than see you later tonight, okay?"

TJ groaned rubbing his hand over his eyes,"Yes, Mama."

 _ **(Clinomania: excessive desire to stay in bed)**_

Doug looked at TJ who was sitting across from him, TJ who was looking like the living dead, he had been looking like that a lot recently but at least he looked sober even if he sat here miserably with Doug, at least he was still here with Doug. Doug reached out to grab TJ's hand when TJ jerked it back like he wasn't allowed to be touched by anyone. Doug drew his hand back as TJ crossed his arms over his chest protectively. It reminded Doug of when TJ was outed to try and protect Bud's affair with Sarah Latham. Doug could remember hearing his Mom and Dad yelling at each other and asking TJ about it and TJ would just cross his arms and tell him not to worry. It remind Doug of the times TJ would cross his arms whenever he was confronted about anything and he'd be snarky and sarcastic to prevent someone from hurting him and letting him down.

Doug looked at his watch awkwardly,"Thanks for seeing me TJ."

TJ sighed,"I don't need to be babysat."

Doug looked at his brother taken aback,"That's not what this is, I'm your brother, I wanted to talk to you."

"Than what do you want to talk about?" TJ said messing up his hair further.

"How you're doing." Doug said watching his brother shift uncomfortably.

"Good." Doug said smiling at his brother happily.

TJ wasn't even being honest with himself. He hurt all over. Sitting in the car gave him relief from his aching heart but he wouldn't get that relief for a long time, his mother saw to that, TJ noticed Douglas staring at him, relieved for some reason. The one other thing that made him feel better was coke and booze, TJ wanted his crutch back just to stop his heart from throbbing so much. TJ wanted to breath for once without his heart feeling like it was getting crushed by ten thousand pounds, his voice was soft,"Yeah I guess."

"How's your therapist?"

"Fine." TJ said nonchalantly.

Doug looked at his brother critically."She nice?"

TJ looked around his mom's house,"Yeah…. Did Anne show you her new dress?"

Doug smiled,"Yeah, you went shopping with her I'm surprised you are still standing."

TJ shrugged,"She only bought two things."

Doug looked impressed,"Damn that's it, how did you do it?"

TJ growled playfully,"It's called don't be cranky the whole damn time."

Doug scowled,"I'm not."

TJ coughed into his hand,"Bullshit."

Doug rolled at his eyes,"Whatever."

TJ looked sullen,"She made me buy a vest."

Doug raised an eyebrow,"Really a vest?"

TJ nodded smiling slightly,"Yeah, for that damn political dinner."

Doug looked shocked,"Mom's letting you go to that?"

TJ smiled self-deprecatingly,"Of course I am, I'm a Hammond after all, and plus if I didn't Mom would freak."

Doug smiled,"Yeah."

TJ looked sad,"If I didn't Mama would be like oh will you try something while we're gone? Will you do something? Blah blah blah blah."

Doug nodded in understanding,"Yeah."

TJ put his head in his arms,"I. Hate. This. Family."

Doug pursed his lips,"Yeah I think all of us have those moments."

TJ's voice was muffled but he sounded extremely miserable,"Not all the damn time."

Doug looked apprehensive,"Why did you do it?"

TJ sat up his eyes for once unguarded his voice extremly,"You know the Congressman Sean Reeves?"

Doug looked apprehensive,"Yeah?"

TJ's voice was shaky and he looked around like someone might hear him, even though they were alone,"I had an affair with him and people found out and threatened to out him if he didn't change his vote on that child protection shit."

Doug looked shocked,"Wait what?"

TJ recoiled slightly,"Do you want me to repeat it?"

Doug rubbed his face and held up a hand,"Just give me a moment to process this."

TJ leaned back for a moment looking relieved that he wasn't getting yelled at,"Still don't think I'm fucked up?"

Doug narrowed his eyes and shook his head,"No. I still stand by what I said."

TJ looked hesitant,"So what did you think?"

Doug shook his head,"I was surprised."

TJ smiled,"You reacted better than Mama."

Doug looked hesitant,"How did she react?"

TJ sighed,"Lots of yelling, it fucking sucked. Not as bad as when he dumped me."

Doug voice cracked loudly in the quiet house,"He dumped you?!"

"Yeah but Doug just drop it I'm fine." To be honest TJ wasn't fine but he still loved Sean and didn't want Douglas to hurt him.

Doug rubbed his face,"I'm surprised."

"How so?"

"How can I not be?"

TJ looked pained and terrified, his voice was a whimper as he rocked back and forth nervously,"I don't know. I just don't know what to do."

Doug looked at his brother, who was picking at his sleeve,"What did mom want you to do."

TJ looked tired,"Mom wanted me to end it."

Doug looked confused,"But he dumped you?"

TJ looked angry,"Yeah, I wonder why."

Doug nodded in understanding,"Is there something you're not telling me?"

TJ shifted underneath Doug's gaze, his voice was brittle"They threatened to out him unless he changed his vote on that goddamn act and it just got worse."

Doug looked at his brother sad,"I'm sorry, TJ."

TJ smiled,"It's alright. At this point, my life is just on a big shit train. I'm used to it at this point."

Doug shook his head,"This family is so fucked up."

"It's not just the family. How often has my life been boiled down to the fact that I liked to kiss boys?" TJ scrubbed his hands through his hair.

Doug furrowed his brow,"It's not that, you weren't made for this business."

TJ got hostile,"You don't think I know that?!"

Doug's voice was calm,"I know you know. I was just answering your question."

"Sorry for snapping at you." TJ's face was flushed with embarrassment,"It's just you're the perfect son and you don't do anything wrong and I just keep fucking up."

Doug scoffed,"I get criticized too. It's just not in public."

TJ's eyes were upset,"Is it all the time?"

Doug smiled,"Yeah."

Tj sighed tiredly,"I'm just so done, if I didn't think it would do more harm I would leave."

Doug's eyes blazed as he spoke sharply,"Leave how?"

TJ looked at the floor his cheeks scarlet,"I don't know. Maybe I'll become a piano teacher or something."

"A piano teacher? Like dad want's you to be?"

TJ shrugged,"I don't know. I just don't have the energy anymore. Maybe for once listening to Dad would be best."

Doug looked at his brother in disbelief,"Really?"

"Yeah." TJ leaned forward and looked so tired and miserable,"I'm just so tired of everything."

Doug looked at his brother, who just wanted to stop for ever, who wanted just to stop hurting for even a second,"Yeah, I know. You don't have to listen to dad, I hope you know that."

"Than what am I supposed to do?" TJ chewed on his lip,"I'm sorry for everything I put you through."

Doug smiled at his brother,"It's okay."

TJ put his head in his hands his voice muffled,"It's my fault."

"Not all of it is your fault."

TJ's blue eyes regarded his brother warily,"Then why do I feel so guilty?"

"That's how it is in this family." Doug said frustrated at the way TJ's self deprecating nature appeared in front of him once again. It never showed when TJ could receive praise, it always showed up when TJ felt terrible and was alone.

TJ glanced at his phone,"We should get ready for that damn dinner party."

Doug nodded in agreement knowing that TJ was trying to pretend like he was okay, he wasn't going to be for a long time.

 _ **(Just chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on)**_

TJ looked at the white powder between his thumb and forefinger, he snorted it quickly and put another bump between his fingers quickly snorting it. TJ looked at himself in the mirror whipping the white power off his face as he heard knocking on his door. Tj looked up fixing his outfit,"Come in."

Doug walked in,"Well Anne does have impeccable taste."

TJ scowled at his brother,"I chose it she forced me to buy it."

Doug clapped a hand on TJ's shoulder not noticing the way TJ flinched away from him,"I'll meet you downstairs. Smile."

TJ shot his brother the dazzling paparazzi smile, which his brother returned,"Alright see you in a few."

TJ watched as his brother shut the door, TJ ran his hand through his hair messing it up giving him that well known roguish look. He tugged on his clothes nervously feeling the key his nana bought him after he got out of rehab the first time, he walked down the stairs and smiled at his mother who ambushed him.

"TJ, I'm glad you joined us." Elaine said tugging on the shoulders of his vest smoothing the wrinkles.

TJ smiled at his mother,"No problem. I wasn't doing anything else."

Elaine's eyes narrowed at her son,"How are you feeling?"

TJ's eyes darted around nervously,"Great, I'm fine."

Elaine accepted the answer seeing her son's nervousness,"Good, now please be on your best behavior tonight."

TJ smiled so widely,"I always am."

Elaine walked off to go talk to the supreme court judge who taught her at Yale or something. TJ didn't have the patience to remember her name, his fingers itched to play the piano. He couldn't do that, not now. TJ squeezed his fingers to try and get rid of that restless feeling. TJ spied a chair that was stowed away from everyone he'd still be in view but people would have to seek him out to talk to him. No one besides his Nana did at these dinners anyhow. One waiter walked past him with a tray of full champagne flutes, TJ quickly grabbed one and downed it placing it back on another plate. TJ watched his family socialize with the other judges and the men from the white house staff, Fred Collier, Barry Harris, Garcetti. TJ started to play a piano piece on his leg something he composed he never named it. He didn't finish it either. Nana came over next to him placing a hand over his to grab his attention.

TJ looked up at his Nana,"Hi, Nana."

Margaret looked at her grandson the dilated pupils and nervous energy, he was high, trying to kill himself didn't slow him down at all,"If you want to play piano, you should."

TJ shook his head,"Don't wanna, I'm done for now."

Margaret looked at TJ critically,"Alright, but try to have fun."

TJ smiled,"Yes Nana."

 _ **(Time skip)**_

TJ slid up the stairs after everyone departed. He knew his mother had to work so she left to head back to the office. Doug went home with Anne complementing her pretty dress, Anne made a call me gesture when she spotted TJ, he was unsure if he would call her, maybe give it a couple of days. Nana went to bed and Dad was doing whatever Dad has done for the past year and a half, TJ did count his blessing that he wasn't in the hospital, he didn't need the narcissistic, loud, and contentious personality that was his father. TJ fell into bed not caring that he rumpled his clothing. He didn't know when he actually fell asleep and started to dream about what would have happened if he was tougher, if he wasn't outed to further his parents political agenda, if he wasn't an addict.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Takes place when TJ is 15 he didn't get shipped off to boarding school till he was outed.**_

TJ knew he was late, he lost track of time at Felix's he did partially blame Felix, distracting him by starting to kiss him deeply. TJ shook his head clearing his mind of _those_ thoughts he could always revisit them later. TJ slunk by the oval office, he paused so slightly hearing his mom and dad fighting, they'd been doing that more and more lately, because of the job they said. They always said that even when it wasn't true. TJ was far from perfect and they wouldn't hesitate to remind him of that fact, no matter how hard he tried he wasn't good enough, he wasn't good enough for them not in comparison to Doug. He listened closely hearing his mom yell.

"You said that last time." He heard his mother say or his dad's protests.

' _Last time?'_ TJ thought hearing his dad speak,"I haven't done anything since I held this office. I've been good just like we talked about."

TJ felt dread settle into his stomach at that wondering how many woman his dad has slept with,' _Come out, TJ. Bring the heat off your family by time so Mama can divorce him. It's what Dougie would do.'_ "You haven't been good. You're just a rotten and lying bastard."

TJ heard his dad protest more,"That is 17th century Qing dynasty! Now, Mao gave that to NIxon…..!"

TJ heard a crash and took all his will power to burst into the room. He turned on his heel and began to walk away to the East Room, it was Saturday. It wouldn't be unusual for him to fall asleep in that room but he didn't want to take any chances of being found out that he broke curfew and he slid upstairs to the east room where he was staying, his mom didn't budge on the idea on keeping them in their old rooms. TJ sank into his bed kicking of his shoes and groaning as his spine loosened. He glanced at the clock it's red lights flashing, _'12:45. Shit. Hopefully Mama didn't notice. Nana probably did. Dougie maybe if he pulled his eyes from his phone long enough.'_

TJ heard knocking at his door and buried his head in his pillow pretending to be asleep. He heard the door crack open and felt the bed dip. He heard his brother speak,"You're late."

TJ rolled over glaring at his brother,"Doesn't matter I wasn't missed."

Doug looked at him conflicted knowing that since TJ was the first son he had all eyes on him, even more so because he liked to party. Doug was aware of the fact that whenever he messed up TJ would come crashing in taking away his parent's negative attention. Doug was also aware of the fact that it was killing TJ, someone who just wanted to be liked by everyone, held too many secrets but wouldn't tell him anything,"You were."

"By you and Nana. I doubt they noticed." TJ said venomously.

"TJ…. Dad's the president." Doug started to say his voice slightly whiny.

TJ rolled over again facing the wall,"Doesn't matter. They missed another one."

Doug froze,"That-that was tonight?"

TJ didn't respond to that but sighed his voice tired,"Go to bed Dougie."

"TJ I-" Doug started but was cut off by TJ's watery voice.

"Go to bed."

Doug left TJ's room giving his big brother one last look. TJ was curled up his shoulders tense. Doug shut the door but hesitated out of it hearing his brother's soft muffled sobs.

 _ **(You can not tell me then didn't miss at least one of TJ's performances.)**_

Doug headed down stairs feeling miserable for missing one of TJ's concerts. He sat at the kitchen counter as his mom cooked breakfast and his dad was next to him dealing with paperwork, his Nana walked downstairs and poured herself a mimosa. His mom looked up at him,"Did your brother come home last night?"

Doug shrugged, he didn't want to be in between the feud between his mom and his brother because no one would win,"If he did, he didn't make himself known."

TJ sauntered into the kitchen in his pajamas, a black Green Day shirt and plaid pants, he sat next to Nana kissing her on the cheek, his mom stopped making breakfast as she spoke,"WHat time did you come home?"

TJ shrugged,"Dunno."

TJ started to shovel the cereal into his mouth wanting to escape the kitchen as soon as possible. His dad spoke making TJ swallow the cereal before answering,"So TJ when's your piano recital."

TJ's voice was cold,"Yesterday."

Bud looked at his son, trying to stare a hole into his cereal bowl,"That can't be right."

TJ looked up at his mother before standing up and leaving his movements slightly jerky as if he was going to run but kept stopping himself.

TJ quickly threw on pants and shoes and bolted out of the house. He didn't stop till he was hidden under a grove of Sycamore and Elm trees. TJ hesitated before starting to climb one of the sycamore trees he made it about halfway up before sitting down and letting out gasping breaths. He doesn't know how long he sat there trying to get a handle on himself and failing before he heard his Nana's voice,"THere you are, you little shit."

TJ looked down at his Nana before looking back up at nothing prompting his grandmother to speak,"Either you come down or I send your brother up after you."

TJ thought for a second before swinging of his branch and skilfully dropping down, when he reached the ground he dropped to a crouch ignoring the way it hurt his legs,"Did you mean to miss it?"

His Nana looked at him before hugging him tightly,"No sweetheart we didn't other things just got in the way."

TJ nodded against his grandma, his voice was soft and sounded slightly strained,"Did Dad ever cheat on Mama?"

His grandmother hesitated for long enough for TJ to know that she was lying,"No, what makes you say that?"

TJ shrugged,"Context. Will I have to go back inside soon?"

"No." Nana said wrapping an arm around TJ,"They got called into work. Do whatever you want but be home before curfew this time."

TJ smiled at his grandmother before heading away from her,"Will do."

 _ **(Lalalalala)**_

Felix opened his door smiling at TJ,"Hey stranger."

TJ grinned at Felix kissing him on the lips lightly,"Hiya handsome."

Felix wrapped an arm around him and kissed him again,"Did ya lose your tail?"

"Didn't have one." TJ said as he was pulled into Felix's house,"Your parents home?"

Felix's shut the door behind him,"Nope, god bless stupid people."

TJ rolled his eyes,"You know what we need?"

Felix smiled,"I like the way you think."

TJ laid next to Felix who was busy giving him a hickey,"Hey be careful. Your mom won't kill you but mine will kill me."

Felix responded by gently nipping the flesh on TJ neck before kissing it again and moving to a new spot, TJ spoke his voice soft causing Felix to stop kissing him,"What is this?"

"Nothing. You made it clear last night that you don't want a boyfriend. So we're not exclusive. TJ, what brought this on?" Felix's eyes had mith in them but went serious,"Is something going on with your parents."

TJ shook his head too quickly,"Nope, we're fine."

Felix stared at him long and hard,"Alright."

Felix looked at the clock over TJ's shoulder,"If you want to get back before your parents know you're gone you should go."

TJ glanced at the time,"I hate it when you're right."

 _ **(TJ was getting it on *Cheesy porn music starts playing*)**_

TJ sat in his room reading _The Swimming Pool Library,_ he heard a knock at his door and shoved the book under his pillow and grabbed _One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest_ ,"Come in."

TJ looked up and saw his mother standing there,"Thomas can we talk?"

TJ sat up,"Is something wrong?"

His mom sat down,"The press has pictures of you kissing another boy."

TJ flinched at that and didn't meet his mother's eyes, but she continued talking,"We weren't able to stop them. I'm sorry, sweetie."

TJ looked up and tried to smile but it was only there for a split second,"It's okay. You did your best. Comes with being a Hammond. This is a good thing."

His mom looked at him confused,"How so?"

TJ spoke his cheeks burning slightly,"It'll distract them from the fact Dad cheated on you."

Elaine froze,"You heard our conversation?"

TJ's cheeks got redder as he nodded,"Why did you stay?"

Elaine brushed hair out of TJ's face,"It's complicated honey. Do you want me to stay with you?"

TJ shook his head,"I'm fine."

TJ let his calm demeanor slip as he gasp. He felt like his life unraveled in the past two days. ' _My name is TJ Hammond, I play piano, I'm the second rate child, the screw up, the black sheep, and I'm gay.'_

Doug walked into his room,"What's going on with Mom and Dad?"

TJ hesitated,"The press got some pictures of me kissing someone."

DOug looked indifferent,"So?"

TJ shot his brother a dirty look,"Another boy, Douglas."

Doug looked unfazed for a second before it dawned on him,"Oh. Oh! What are mom and dad doing?"

TJ shrugged,"I don't know I just want to be left alone."

Doug nodded as he got up and left TJ alone, knowing that wasn't the only thing that was bothering him but TJ wasn't going to tell him.

TJ looked at the photos his mom left on his desk, they were pictures of him kissing another boy, not Felix and TJ was thankful for that. It was Sebastian Wilson, and TJ couldn't believe he'd been stupid enough to think he could come out on his own terms. That he could be "normal" for just a couple days longer, _'Get used to it TJ you're a Hammond you can't be normal. Just don't ruin anything for Mama she doesn't deserve that.'_

 _ **(Line break)**_

"TJ mom and dad want us in the living room." Doug said knocking on his brother's door. He didn't know if TJ was there, after he was outed TJ stopped hanging out with Felix, the only one who could keep him level, and started to hang out with the kids who did drugs and constantly partied. He was out more often than he was home and when he was home he was cranky and hungover.

TJ opened the door having bags under his eyes,"Come on."

TJ sat down next to Doug, with their parents across from them. TJ's mom began to speak,"Boys do you remember Sarah Latham?"

TJ shrugged as Doug nodded,"Yeah why?"

TJ's gaze narrowed on his father,"Let me guess, she's saying you slept with her?"

Bud's eyes narrowed at his son while Elaine continued speaking,"It's true, Tommy."

TJ's heart sank at that, he got outed for nothing, he couldn't even draw attention away from his family and that made it worse,"So we're going to make a statement and then never address it again right?"

Bud nodded and TJ continued speaking,"Then I don't know what you need me for."  
TJ got up and left the living room, leaving Doug to look after his brother as Elaine looked up sad and Bud looked angry.


End file.
